“How Diabetes, Stroke, and Dementia Are Connected. A Faith-Based Guide to Caring for Aging Parents”

Dementia

Taking care of a parent is one of life’s greatest honors, but when dementia enters the picture, the journey takes on new challenges. The parent who once cared for us, guided us, and stood strong through life’s storms now begins to walk a path where their memory fades and their independence slowly slips away. This reality can bring pain, confusion, and emotional exhaustion, but it also calls us to one of the highest forms of love, responsibility, and faith.

Dementia is a progressive condition. Its symptoms begin subtly but worsen over time. You may first notice small things: your parent may struggle to keep track of their purse or wallet, forget to pay bills, miss appointments, have difficulty planning and preparing meals, or become disoriented even in familiar surroundings. While these moments are heartbreaking, they are also signals calling us to gently step in. It’s important to also recognize that certain health conditions may contribute to or increase the risk of developing dementia.

"There is a direct link between diabetes, stroke, and an increased risk of cognitive decline. Diabetes and stroke can both damage the blood vessels in the brain, leading to what is known as vascular dementia. In addition, diabetes may cause cognitive decline even in the absence of stroke, through mechanisms such as insulin resistance, chronic inflammation, and oxidative stress that harm brain cells over time. Research confirms that both Type 2 diabetes and cerebrovascular disease independently increase the likelihood of dementia in older adults This makes managing chronic illnesses an important part of protecting not only physical health but also mental function as we age."

The hardest part for many families is not recognizing the symptoms but knowing how to help—especially when a parent resists care. It's important to understand that this resistance is often rooted in fear. Many parents are not being “difficult” on purpose. They fear losing control over their lives, worry about becoming a burden, or may not even realize the danger they are in due to the effects of dementia itself. When we recognize these fears, we are better able to approach them with compassion rather than frustration.

Beginning the conversation starts with love. A simple heartfelt message can open doors: "Mom, Dad, I love you and want you safe. I’m not trying to take away your independence. I want to help you stay independent for as long as possible." Acknowledging their lifelong strength is also important: "You’ve always been strong and handled everything. Now it’s my turn to stand by you, just like you always stood by me." These words allow your parent to feel respected rather than controlled.

When introducing help, it’s important to present it as support rather than supervision. Start with small changes. You might suggest someone who can assist with groceries, cleaning, or errands. Framing this person as a "helper" or "companion" rather than a "caregiver" can make the transition easier. Even simple additions like meal deliveries, medical alert systems, or minor safety modifications in the home can make a world of difference without feeling overwhelming.

Sometimes, hearing advice from a trusted voice outside the immediate family carries more weight. A family doctor, a spiritual leader such as a pastor or imam, or even friends who have walked this road can gently reinforce the importance of accepting help. These trusted messengers can often deliver the same message in a way that feels more acceptable to your loved one.

For many of us, our faith is an anchor in difficult times. Scripture reminds us that none of us are meant to carry life’s burdens alone. In Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, we are told, “Two are better than one… if one falls, the other can help him up.” Even the great prophet Moses needed help to hold up his arms during battle. Accepting help is not a sign of weakness—it is wisdom, and it is God’s design for us to lean on one another.

As our parent begins to open up, present a care transition plan that protects their dignity. Assure them that they remain fully in control and that you will start small—perhaps a few hours of assistance a couple of times a week focused on light tasks such as meals, shopping, or cleaning. Let them know that everything can be adjusted according to their comfort level and that you will remain involved every step of the way to ensure their happiness and peace of mind.

Finally, remember that you are not alone in this journey. Lean on your family, your doctor, your spiritual community, and your faith. Churches, mosques, and temples can play a vital role in supporting families dealing with dementia. Many members within these communities can be trained to serve, providing both spiritual and practical assistance to those in need. This is not just an act of service, but a way to create meaningful work and ministry that uplifts the entire community while honoring our elders with the dignity they deserve.

Caring for a parent with dementia is a sacred mission. Though the road is difficult, with love, patience, and faith, we can walk it together.

References:

Cheng, G., Huang, C., Deng, H., & Wang, H. (2012). Diabetes as a risk factor for dementia and mild cognitive impairment: a meta-analysis of longitudinal studies. Internal Medicine Journal, 42(5), 484-491.Biessels, G. J., & Despa, F. (2018). Cognitive decline and dementia in diabetes mellitus: mechanisms and clinical implications. Nature Reviews Endocrinology, 14(10), 591-604.Alzheimer's Association. (2024). Vascular dementia. Retrieved from: www.alz.org